


strawberry blond

by halloweensocks



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:07:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25573333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halloweensocks/pseuds/halloweensocks
Summary: a song-fic based off the song strawberry blond by mitski.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	strawberry blond

_i love everybody because i love you_

spencer watched as she chatted and floated amongst the guests, her laughter echoing. her dress was a off-white fitted gown and it trailed behind her. she looked ethereal, as if she was getting married. the champagne glass fit familiarly in her hand, like it had always been there. 

_when you stood up, walked away, barefoot, in the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape, i looked over it and i ached._

he took a small sip of his own flute that was filled with champagne. but while yours was almost empty, his was full. he credited that to his low alcohol tolerance; he didn't want to drink too much and make a fool of himself in front of you. 

it's not like he hadn't already. the constant stuttering of his words, the way he froze up when you walked into the room. like derek always said, "his iq of 187 dropped down to a 60 when a pretty girl came around." he couldn't forget the time that he'd spilled coffee all over your shirt and then proceeded to aggressively pat your breast with a napkin, trying to clean it up. 

it wasn't like he was shy, it was quite the opposite actually. the lucky girl who had the opportunity to get the genius into bed could tell you. his dirty talk was insane. he was like derek morgan in the sheets.

but the minute he is faced with talking to a pretty girl about someone who was brutally stabbed, dismembered, beheaded or exsanguinated he seems to freeze up. 

he didn't know how. he knew how to talk to you, but he didn't know how to flirt with you. 

_i love everybody because i love you, i don't need the city and i don't need proof. all i need darling is a life in your shape, i picture it soft and i ache._

you'd mentioned once or twice the thought of saving enough and retiring from the FBI to go live on the countryside, in a little cabin and wear flowy dresses and pick flowers all day. or make jam and butter. you'd spoke about raising kids often, everybody on the team already knew about what names you'd picked. 

he remembered the soft smile that had come upon your face when you spoke of these things. he wanted to be the one to provide you with that. he wanted to be the one who watched you pick pretty flowers. he wanted to be the one who was faced with the task of fathering your children. 

_look at you strawberry blond._

_reach out the car window, tryna hold the wind, you tell me you love him i give you a grin._

on a particular drive home from a long case, you'd gushed about this new guy you'd met on one of your girls' nights with penny, emily and jj. his name was zack and he had jet-black hair. his abs were 'incredible'. you spoke of him as if he was a god who'd come down to the earth. 

your eyes sparkled with glee and something similar to lust when you described him. all spencer could do was nod and grin. his hands tightened around the steering wheel and his knuckles turned white, but he kept driving and wished you good luck with him. 

_oh all i ever wanted was a life in your shape, so i follow the white lines, follow the white lines, keep my eyes on the road as i ache._

he'd gone home that day, pondering whether it'd make him attractive to you if he'd dyed his own hair jet-black, or if he started working out with derek more often. 

until spencer realized that maybe it wasn't his looks that didn't attract you. 

maybe it was him. 

_look at you strawberry blond, fields rolling on, i love it when you call my name._

spencer's reasons for waking up in the morning included wednesday's chocolate days, in which you brought the entire team their favorite piece of chocolate. 

you'd take your time with each person, giving them their chocolate and asking them how they were feeling. you had a specific order too. derek, emily, hotch, rossi, jj and then finally spencer.

it made him feel special to be the last. 

when you placed a hershey's bar in his palm and asked how his week was going, his heart melted. 

every single time. 

_can you hear the bumblebee's swarm, watching your arm, i love it when you look my way._

he'd catch you staring once in a while, and he'd wrench his hands under the desk anxiously. was there something in his teeth? was his hair a mess? oh god, did he have a pimple? he'd run through the day and everything he'd said to you in his head. 

when he'd gotten the courage to ask you about it, you causally said that you'd did it because you thought he was attractive. you'd ended the conversation with a wink and blew him a kiss. 

spencer's confidence skyrocketed. 

_look at you strawberry blond, fields rolling on, i love it when you call my name. can you hear the bumblebee's swarm-_

"clear!" a voice sounded from the earpiece in spencer's ear and it relieved his tension slightly. at least you were okay for now.

spencer's leg bounced. he was sitting in a van across the street from the warehouse where it was suspected the unsub was with jj and some of the local police. 

he specifically requested that he had access to your earpiece. jj had looked at him quizzically but shrugged it off. 

after about two rooms were cleared, a alarm from the computer next to jj went off. it was one of the chemical detectors attached to hotch's back.

that specific alarm going off only meant one thing. drugs, or bombs. and the unsub didn't profile as an addict. 

"GET OUT-" hotch's voice crackled over the earpiece, and spencer jumped out of his seat, clumsily throwing on the FBI vest. his fingers fiddled with the velcro and his heart was jumping out of his chest. 

the bomb went off and spencer was thrown to the ground, his ear ringing. he placed his hand to his ear, and it was bloody. 

he forced himself to get up and he limped towards the building, one goal in mind. 

you.

he knew where you were, he'd memorized the map of the warehouse and he remembered where your tracker was flashing. 

you, derek, emily and hotch had gone in for the takedown. he'd worry about the others after he made sure you were okay. 

he limped slowly through the debris, still holding his ringing in. as he made his way to the room you were in.

he walked in, vision blurry. his eyes landed on a smaller shape sprawled out in the middle of the room and he rushed over as quickly as he could and cradled you.

"hey hey, CAN I GET MEDICS IN HERE?" his voice cracked and he tried to suppress the bleeding from a hole in your torso. the ceiling had collapsed and part of it had gotten stuck in you and you were bleeding badly. 

"hey spence?" her voice was weak and raspy. 

"shh save your breath. no need for goodbye's. you're gonna make it." his voice wavered and his eyes watered. 

she smiled weakly and propped herself up on her arm, wincing in pain.

"spence you don't need to lie. look at me." she grimaced. spencer felt a pair of lips touch his and the tears began to fall quietly.

"i love you spence. move on." were the last words she spoke and her body went limp in his, the familiar glimmer in her eyes disappearing. 

he froze, his body shutting down as the tears silently fell.

he just went through the motions of cleaning up, heading to the hospital, writing the incident report. 

_-watching your arm, i love it when you call my name._

he took a breath and got up, heading to the figure in the white dress before realizing that she was transparent. 

his breath hitched and his hand shook. 

he stood in the middle of your funeral, with a full champagne glass in his hand, surrounded by a bunch of people who wouldn't understand what your final words meant to him. 

_look at you strawberry blond._


End file.
